"I've been told its a good idea to start a speech with a joke. Well, don't get your hopes up. I'm not hear to tell jokes. I'm here to pick a fight. I'm hear to pick a fight with second place. I have about as much patience for second place, as I do for flies in my soup. But maybe you like flies in your soup. Maybe you like second place. Maybe you like that 'you gave it your best, better luck next time' malarkey they spoonfeed runner ups. Let me put it another way; if you think second place is ok, go ask Napoleon how he felt about coming in second at Waterloo. Not so good, not so good. And you can spare me the 'its not if you win or lose, its how you play the game' bullshit, because whoever said that, lost the game. The moral of the story - come in first. Still want to hear a joke? Fine. Here's one for you -
'The guy who finished second.'
The guy who finished second who?....'
Powered by Facebook Comments